I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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