Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
