I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
