im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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