I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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