watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Did you just see the Batmobile???
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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