ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
