Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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