worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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