Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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