Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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