Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
