is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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