who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
