I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
