She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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