I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
