she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
