I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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