I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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