I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
