Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
that is very illegal...i love you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
