idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
