I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
