Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
