I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
