My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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