Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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