she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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