It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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