She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
