Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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