so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
