If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
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