And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Randomize
