your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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