Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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