There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
