Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
