Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
