sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
