I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
