I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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