You work out of a Hotel?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
