therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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