Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
