Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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