I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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