I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
