just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize