also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
